Swimming Lessons (on productivity, excellence, and achieving your best)

Robin Schulz (feat. James Blunt)- Ok

GREETINGS after all this time! Happy New Year (sort of)! Happy Winter/Spring! Happy Passover/Easter!

Let me preface this post by saying the lessons below are all from the Harvard Business Review (mainly from Tony Schwartz). I will try to link all the articles that each quote comes from (but there are a lot so this might take time). They are actually more quotes, mottos, credos rather than lessons.

I have missed my maritime adventures! I wish I had been able to write as frequently as a used to, but this blog is far from dead. I have been constantly reinventing myself and I have realized that my life is going to require my ability to reinvent myself over and over again. Thus, I hope to post all of that here and then some with the hopes that the little things I read and experience can help others or at least amuse my readers.

Also, since it has been some time since I have written, I just wanted to note that for most of my entries I have been posting a link to a song at the top. Most of the time it has been thematic, sometimes it was just random. The idea behind this originated from me writing my entries to the song and hoping that my readers can experience what I am experiencing while they read my posts. (Obviously, this is optional.)

Here goes:

1. Absorbed focus lies at the heart of great performance.
2. The simple act of making decisions progressively depletes our ability to make them well.
3. Whatever you feel compelled to do: Don't.
4. If you respond out of compulsion, you have not made an intentional choice.
5. Live, operate, function with intent.
6. Do what makes you feel good about yourself, not what makes you feel good right now.
7. Be consistent with the person you want to be. 
8. The challenge in life is upping our game.
9. Compulsions rarely lead to positive outcomes.
10. Never stop trying to get better. 
11. Resilience is trying really hard, stopping, recovering, and trying again.
12. Find a way to discover equilibrium quickly.
13. Catch yourself when you default to whatever makes you feel good in the moment.
14. Ask yourself "How would I behave here at my best?" 
15. Push yourself beyond your current limits day-in, day-out despite the discomfort it creates.
16. The willingness to endure discomfort and sacrifice instant gratification is the only way to get better at anything and to achieve true excellence.
17. Welcome Discomfort. 
18. Live in discomfort. 
19. Temptation will always defeat you if you expose yourself to it too long. 
20. Do specific behaviors at precise times.
21. Pride yourself on relentless perseverance in the face of obstacles. (also here)
22. You cannot consistently improve your ability to make decisions (or your intuition) without considerable practice, reflection, and analysis.
23. Have grit and grace. 

I have actually handwritten all of these while I was reading the articles (some of them are my own lessons). Enjoy! 

Also, just for fun, I have taken an interest in Goldendoodles and Angora Rabbits. Hopefully, I can own one someday (but that would require me collecting their dander, taking it to my allergist, creating an allergy shot to tolerate the creature). Until then, I just look at the pictures because they make me happy (this is from insta). Happy New Year! 2018 will be great. 

Who is the real champion?

Listen to this while reading: Wiz Khalifa-Work Hard, Play Hard

"The real champion practices alone--bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion when NO ONE else is watching"

 BE LIMITLESS

Below is a re-post that I absolutely love:

Excruciating effort feels amazing. I found this quote a while back from the abstract of the book Aquarium by Victor Suvorov about Soviet military intelligence. I feel it really captures my current attitude on life:

Man is capable of performing miracles. A man can swim
the English Channel three times, drink a hundred mugs of
beer, walk barefoot on burning coals; he can learn thirty
languages, become an Olympic champion at boxing, invent
the television or the bicycle, become a general in the GRU
or make himself a millionaire. It's all in our own hands. 

If you want it you can get it...

Success comes only when the training, of
whatever kind (memory, muscles, mind, willpower,
stamina), takes a man to the limit of his capacity. When
the end of the training becomes torture. When a man cries
out from pain and exhaustion. Training is effective only
when it takes a man to the very limit of his capacity and
he knows exactly where the limit is...

That's the road to glory. That's the path to
success. To work only at the very limit of your capacity.
To work at the brink of collapse. You can become a
champion only if you are the sort of person who, knowing
that the bar is about to fall and crush him, nevertheless
heaves it upwards. The only ones who have conquered
themselves, who have defeated their own fear, their own
laziness and their own lack of confidence

10 Quotes From Warren Buffett That Will Teach You How To Be A Successful Person

Avicii-The Days

Taken from Lifehack

(1) Know your stuff

(2) Think things through

(3) Tread Carefully in all matters

(4) If things are bad, don't make them worse

(5) Associate with the right people

(6) Don't be too trusting

(7) Appreciate what came before

(8) Know when to jump ship

(9) Habits are hard to break

Now, the most important one....

(10) Be certain of your success even when no one else is

Lessons Learned

Lee Moses-Bad Girl

(1) “If you still believe the same thing you believed 15 years ago, then you're a joke.” -Malcolm Gladwell
(2) Reinvention is so tremendously excruciating and so tremendously rewarding at the same time.
(3) Ennui is the worst.
(4) "Don't worry before you have to worry. Just wait and see."
(5) One day this will all make sense.
(6) I might just be an 80-year old soul in a very small package.
(7) I am tired, but gotta keep on movin'!
(8) I am also so grateful to have someone in my life that understands all the nuance.
(9) Sugar Cookie flavored Tea +Dark Chocolate brownies=scrumptious!

Lessons learned

Coldplay--Sky Full of Stars

(1) Ignore the chatter of the turtles (especially when you're a giraffe standing tall--lowering yourself to listen to it will only harm you).
(2) Some people are just toxic and, from time to time, it is necessary to detox.
(3) When people show you who they are believe it.
(4) It's unfair to yourself to keep trying to justify why you're holding on to toxicity. There are lessons in letting go and moving on.
(5) There is normalcy somewhere and I'm glad I found it. Now it's about learning how to let go of dysfunction.
(7) I<3 NY in the Fall!
(8) The way things are need to become the way things were.
(9) I LOVE my exercise ball!
(10) Emancipation needs to happen ASAP.

Musings: On Empathy

I'm not going to dive into the definition since I believe most people have an understanding of what the word itself means; however, I want to discuss some aspects of empathy and how I've tried to cultivate it.

The New Yorker explores empathy from its many standpoints, but what struck me the most was that "empathy is what makes us human." What an interesting ontological phenomenon; we need to empathize in order to be human. The Guardian published a piece on Friday noting a difference between empathy and compassion.

Empathy is a prime component of the medical profession. Without acknowledging how a patient's symptoms affect their quality of life or why a patient is struggling adds an extra layer of complexity to diagnosing and treating a patient. In my Lifestyles of Medicine course, I am learning that part of being a physician is being mindful before you even enter a patient's exam room: reminding yourself again and again that you are here for them; it's your job to connect and understand the complexities of both the disease and the symptoms that brought the patient into your clinic on this day. I found this interesting blog from a medical actor (an actor that plays a patient for med students to examine and get scored on). She digs into how, at different periods during the interaction between a patient and their physician, empathy plays a pivotal role in helping the patient both clinically and personally.

I've always been hyper-aware of the feelings of other people. When I was 8 my fourth grade teacher was recently widowed and I scolded a classmate for obliviously asking her about her husband. As a kid, my parents worked so I grew up outside of the house mostly in school (I was put in school very very young). Thus, I had to use my ability to relate to others in order to compile a social circle for myself and make sure I didn't purposely alienate someone. This taught me many things, but I think the greatest gift it has bequeathed upon me is my ability to recognize potential suffering.

One time in high school, during lunch I noticed that a middle school girl (our girls middle school shared a cafeteria with half of the upper school) with bright red hair was sitting on a makeshift table by herself because her friends did not make room for her at the table. I told my friend Rachel that I wanted to invite this girl to sit at our table. Her name was Leisel (I remember it still because the only other time I had heard that name was from the Sound of Music) and I told her that who cares that her friends won't make room for her and that there's always room at our cool high schooler table for her any time.

So why is it that some can muster empathy quite naturally whereas for others it's an emotional mountain to climb? I think as adults it becomes a choice to exercise empathy or ignore it and it's a case-by-case situation. We all have our empathetic moments and some where we wished we had been more present to someone else's feelings. One can definitely cultivate empathy, but our society is not conducive to empathizing with others as easily it used to be. I do not participate in Facebook. I had one of the first accounts in college when only a select number of universities were granted accounts, but I've since realized that I'm better off without it. Primarily because I realize that having friends requires care, time, and effort and I'm glad to invest that in others. I have also noticed that this philosophy has positively impacted my friends as well. To be my friend you have to interact with me. There's no way around that. Phone or in-person communication allows each of us to realize when boundaries are being crossed and when to back off. The act of expressing words is not only therapeutic, but also adds the element of human-ness that is so lacking through technological communication. Talking allows us to release energy and read someone else's energy. You listen to inflection, tone, feeling of another person and that is how you relate to them. (I learned in class that the term is called 'affective listening' and an attribute that physicians should incorporate into their practice as well.)

So concrete ideas and practices of mine:
(1) I don't have facebook--like I stated before, if you want to be my friend and know things about me you have to interact with me. Sorry to be old-fashioned, but there's no way around that. I also would like to note that facebook has its place in society--my cousins in India use it and if I were on it I would perhaps get to follow up with them more than our frequent emails. I think things like social media becomes an issue when it's the prime medium through which we connect with others. In my opinion: in person>phone>email/text>social media relates to happiest>happier>happy>not so happy. There's actual studies about this (refer to 'How facebook makes us unhappy' from the New Yorker).
(2) I write emails, letters, and have phone calls with my friends followed up with in person-contact.
(3) I don't use my phone when I'm having a conversation with someone in front of me.
(4) I never talk or text while driving. Aside from being dangerous, I want whoever is talking to me to get my full attention.
(5) I try to stay off Gchat: Thanks to rescuetime.com I've noticed that it's a giant time soak. It does allow me to keep in touch with my friends from different states, but it's tough because even after a long conversation I somehow walk away unfulfilled; we don't react expressively in the same as we do in actual physical good company.
(6) I meditate!
(7) I always question my approach. I think science dictates that we must question our beliefs in order to progress.
(8) Do something. I like to write, but I also like to play piano and tennis and do yoga. It's quite difficult to be on the phone when you're actually doing a real activity; but, what I have also found is that these activities allow me to express myself in many other ways. In tennis, I have to understand and predict my opponent's next move. With piano, I try to go beyond the notes on a page and really see how I can make a piece emotive by the way I play it. This allows me to play a piece of music that can perhaps resonate with someone else that has the same feelings. Writing is pretty therapeutic and important because the ability to express oneself through the written word allows us to engrave on to paper an experience that is engrained in our hearts.
(9) When working, I try to keep my phone on 'do not disturb' mode. This allows me to control my phone, not the other way around. Thus, when I want to call or text someone or respond it is a deliberate act instead of an impulsive reaction.
(10) Here are some things from the Times on teaching children empathy
*I have more tactics. This is just a start!

I'll conclude this post with a clip that basically summarizes my sentiments on this front from comedian Louis CK. "You need to build an ability to just be with yourself."

Lessons learned

(1) to errr is human, to forgive is divine 
(2) it is my responsibility to free my mind.

(3) keep it up. Don't stop being great. 
(4) with mistakes we learn and gain 
(5) I am now finding solace in how life never remains still 

(6) “Stay away from what might have been and look at what can be.” ~Marsha Petrie Sue

(7) always remember the trichotomy of control
(8) Some things are up to us and some things are not up to us. – Epictetus

(9) when the stars align to offer something, by all means don't go against them. 

This week's lessons learned

Ed Sheeran-I'm a mess

This week was quite crazy for Swimming, but in it I have learned some humongous lessons that will hopefully impel me to change and grow

(1) Emancipation is a rite of passage.
(2) Being an independent woman means managing my own stuff-even if it means living entirely differently.
(3) Retail therapy is NEVER the answer.
(4) Building my relationships with others has been time well-invested. I love the people in my life and even more so I appreciate my ability to get along with people from all walks of life. I have learned a great deal from so many different people. 
(5) I know the answer and I know what to do.
(6) Don't every let anyone's pessimism or negativity steer you in the wrong direction.
(7) Approval is unnecessary. 
(8) Trust yourself and your reasoning and your motivation.
(9) Some relationships are getting in the way of growth.
(10) At any given moment there are infinite possibilities. I just let one go, but there are infinite more and I will know when it's time to move on.
(11) It is time I changed the conversation and dynamic around my personal finances.
(12) Learn to sit with indecision and insecurity instead of panicking and frantically seeking answers.
(13) Never act in a space of panic, stress, or indecision.
(14) Sometimes the most dysfunctional relationships are the ones where it isn't immediately obvious that there is dysfunction.
(15) I need to take drastic action to tame my mind. A shout out to headspace.com for some much needed help on this front. I am extremely neurotic and compulsive.
(16) Nosce te ipsum (know thy self) and then listen.
(17) As long as I am dependent on someone else in such a basic way I am going to have problems building with other endeavors.
(18) PK has been, singlehandedly the best example of an independent woman who can manage her own sh*t and I am lucky that I have such a strong example to follow (THANK YOU)
(19) It is absolutely imperative for me to get my stuff together internally and personally in order to attract solid people in my life.
(20) I have extremely solid people in my life that have, undoubtedly, helped me tremendously in this insane process.
(21) I Have the power to stop myself from spiraling.
(22) I must focus on being truly independent and playing my part.
(23) From MB many years back (I think circa 2011--but goes to show that wise words will never be forgotten):  Protect yourself: protect your mind, the health of your mind, protect your integrity the strength of your character, don't let it go and always want the truth to win. Zealously fight for your self, and for others.

Carrots, Eggs, Coffee

Arianna Grande-Problem
Here is a wonderful metaphor:
http://www.soulcast.com/post/show/59487/A-carrot,-an-egg,-and-a-cup-of-coffee


A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners . She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?


“In life, things happen to us and things happen around us, but the only thing that truly matters is what happens within us."
"What Lies Behind Us and What Lies Before Us are Tiny Matters Compared to What Lies Within Us" ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Musing's and lessons

(1) 50 facts about tigers!

(2) Insomnia is miserable!!!!
More info on enhancing sleep

(3) After thousands of viewings in 25 years, I am still in love with the Wizard of Oz.

(4) The psychology of color

(5) Interesting infographic on the science behind happiness!
-Enlightening how exercise is such a powerful tool (sometimes more so than prescription medication) to prevent depression relapse.

(6) 42 ways to get better at life!

(7) Find out more about whether gummy vitamins are good.
While we're at it, here's everything you need to know about Vitamin D. 

(8) Can you be an Elite Warrior?

• Elite warriors learn to win in their minds before they seek to win on the battlefield
• Elite warriors don’t whine.  They embrace the suck, get the job done, then move on
• Elite warriors love their fellow teammates like their brothers and sisters
• Elite warriors love their enemies as much as their fellow soldiers (this is an advanced warrior principle!)
• Elite warriors display integrity in their thoughts, words and deeds, alone, with their teammates and within the “system”
• Elite warriors do today what others won’t, so they can do tomorrow what others can’t
• Elite warriors take their eyes off of themselves and place them on their teammates
• Elite warriors expect to lead, don’t shy from the hard leadership roles, and step back effortlessly when it is someone else’s turn
• Elite warrior don’t seek fame or fortune, and are humble about these things if they come their way…often deflecting credit to others
• Elite warriors never quit.  They never quit in training or on an operation.  They never quit their teammates.  They never quit training their body, mind and spirit.  They never quit trying
• Elite warriors are innovative.  To them the term “failure is not an option” means that failing is required to learn fast, so the whole concept of failure is a moot point
• Elite warriors train realistically and they master the basics…coming back to them often.  They take nothing for granted
• Elite warriors know WHY they are doing what they are doing.  It is this connection to their WHY that keeps them focused and motivated when things get tough

(9) Find out how to meditate!

(10) Ignorance is bliss for some people. But being aware of my own ignorance has been a profound gift.

(11) Everyone experiences the world differently.

(12) Some people have an inability to empathize with others.

(13) Fiverr.com is wonderful!!!!! I've gotten excellent editing for just $5-10!

(14) I do believe it's incredibly rude to text when you are having a conversation (and even ruder to do it while on a rotation).  

(15) Sometimes people only hear what they want to hear, but wind up missing powerful lessons in the midst assuming. 

Spring is on the horizon!!!

Lessons Learned!

The Fray-Wherever this goes

Some quick ones from this week:

(1) Keeping health together should always be a priority. I've been so off kilter from the H. pylori antibiotics and I'm glad to finally be feeling better (after 3 weeks of misery) and getting back on track.

(2) I really really like the OR and everything about surgery (so much engineering+medicine!)

(3) Pediatric medicine is NOT at all what I expected and I'm surprised to admit that I kind of like it.

(4) Most people do not have the right to know your personal business. On that note, some people are just inherently nosy and it is entirely uncouth.

(5) My comeback (previous post) has, I believe, 110% prepared me to be a doctor.

How Swimming got her groove back

I've decided it's time I posted a list of things that helped me get my groove back. My Comeback started in 2012 October during the evening of Hurricane Sandy. PK and I used the storm to generate a plan to excel in all areas of our life and operate at a very high efficiency level. Thus began the journey of 430am wake-ups, standing all day, cold showers, working out/eating clean, being hyper-productive. Yes, the ride is really rough and we keep having to reinvent ourselves since we're both still on it, but the important thing is to never get off the path. After 18 months, I am about mid-way through graduate school, building up my medical school apps and wholeheartedly have my chutzpah back and am on track to continuous improvement. PK will be med school bound in just a few months (congrats PK)!! Point is that being resilient and determined is key and definitely remain positive especially because she and I were both trying to achieve this goal for many years now. Here is my credo. If you never quit you will achieve your goals, it's only a matter of time. Most of what I listed here is taken either from Stoicism, Harvard Business Review, Buddhism, military/Navy SEAL ethos, and weight loss motivation. There is a single thread that connects all these ideologies: at the end of the day your mind is the only thing standing in your way! If you can recognize that and learn to conquer it then you are golden.

(1) Your mind can destroy you or it can make you stronger. Your choice.
(2) Your thoughts shape reality
(3) Responsibility=having the ability to respond.
(4) If your life is sinking, look to yourself to find a way to make it better!
(5) "What matters is not the little things, but whether you have the inner strength to realize how little such things matter." Stoicism: Live it. Learn it.
(6) “Where life is possible, it is possible to live well.” -Marcus Aurelius
(7) The single most freeing asset is genuine self-awareness
(8) "I can deal with whatever happens and I can handle it." -more stoicism
(9) Resilience
-adopt a mindset of growth:Focus on how you can grow, especially during setbacks
-invest the time and energy to develop and maintain healthy habits
-bring yourself back to an emotional and physical state where you can constructively confront your problems
(10) Become a fierce lady
(11) 14 habits to make you stronger
and 21 ways to earn the respect of others
(12) Make a vow to become mentally tough. Here, use this to lay out your plan.
The Big 4 of mental Toughness: part 1, 2-Breathe, and 3
The Basics: The first fight is in your mind.  You must win in the mind, before stepping foot onto the battleground. Overcome your fears, steel your resolve, maintain an offensive mind set, develop skills, knowledge and personal power, and do NOT succumb to mediocrity. Develop a winner's attitude and a non-quitting spirit. Eat weakness for breakfast. Use the energy to drive you to greatness. Control your mind. Do not wait around to be told what to do. Stride forth with courage and confidence do not be not the object of a weak mind.

GOALS: single point focus, uncommon resolve, a positive mind, discernment, high pain tolerance, unflappability, heightened awareness, 
(I'll give you the links to read the details but I'm just copying and pasting the essential elements.)
-Positive mind: maintain a vigilant watch over their mental state, control [your] minds and channel  thoughts to positive and purposeful things. When things go wrong, seek the silver lining and act on it. Don't dwell on the negative, instead re-frame it to the positive so that it can serve you.

 -Single point focus and uncommon resolve: Masters are unflappable, unfazed and dead certain in the midst of the most intense, chaotic and grim circumstances. Humbly accept your responsibility.  Use disciplined training and practice of a worthy pursuit, [to] gain mastery over [your] body, mind and emotions. Masters reduce their mental attention to a single point focus regardless of what is going on around them. Clear the clutter in our minds and focus with intensity on the task that must be done right now but do not lose awareness of surroundings. Masters develop this resolve by developing confidence through training, and courage through a faith-based humility. If our actions are aligned and in integrity with our purpose (as our belief and faith tells us), then we know we are doing the right thing, regardless of the outcome. Any purpose worth living for is also worth dying for. 
Examining your beliefs, then taking action to upgrade your beliefs about yourself and your purpose in the world, will lead to uncommon resolve in your missions. 
Inoculate yourself against failure: How? Desire: you must desire the outcome as if your hair was on fire. Belief: you must believe in your purpose, your mission, and yourself. Attitude: you must have a positive attitude, drive and be able to mobilize a team with it. Discipline: you must be willing to give up unnecessary attachments and commitments, and put in the right amount of daily effort toward your goal. Determination: you must have an unwavering commitment to finish the job, stay the course, and never, ever quit.

-Discernment: The path to mastery is often a lonely pursuit requiring long hours of training and sacrificing many pleasures as one remains focused on a narrow lane of highly important tasks. Further, as one progresses toward mastery their ego is tempered with humility, and the spotlight is not very alluring. Avoid faulty thinking and start to cultivate right thinking through trial and error. Develop a greater ability to ascertain truth, and apply wisdom in our lives.

-Awareness: Develop an uncanny 6th sense of your environment and what those around you are thinking. Long periods of silence/meditation/yoga will heighten your awareness. 3 Techniques-concentration, meditation and contemplation. Fox Walk!

-Be unflappable: gain control over your physiology with breathing practices such as Box Breathing.

-Develop a high Pain tolerance: Suffer in silence. Look for actions and goals that require an unusual element of suffering to succeed. You will come to appreciate and enjoy the hard won rewards of your personal growth earned through this trial by fire. Develop this through the deliberate internalization of any expression of pain or discomfort during periods of suffering. Swallow the natural yearning to wince, cry out in pain, whimper and project weakness…all acts that will undermine your mental toughness. You can only make life better for yourself and others by embracing the suck and being helpful rather than selfishly think you are the only one suffering. Smile in the middle of a challenge--this will give you strength and train your pain tolerance to a new level.  
 
-The Winning Mindset:

• Stay focused and relaxed, adaptable to the changing situation.
• Know that you are going to succeed – there will be no wondering.
• Tap into energy that lies deep inside, allowing you to be capable of at least 20 times what you think you are.
• Control fear and turn stress into success.
• Keep goals very short, and be prepared for whatever comes your way.
• Find humor in the challenge through a positive attitude that keeps you and your team motivated.
• Be decisive and confident, a true leader.

 Use this quiz to assess your start and end points.

(13) NEVER GIVE UP
-Don’t be put off from your past failures. Welcome them, and then destroy them.
-STOP FOCUSING ON NEGATIVES
-Push past plateaus
-Nothing worth having comes easy
-Eat clean, train hard, and results will follow.
-Let go of the people who don’t support you. You should still have a social life and enjoy yourself, but don’t feel pressured into things you don’t want to do, or if they don’t complement your decision to get healthy.
-People who can, overcome obstacles. People who can’t, make up excuses.
-Don’t lose sight of what you really want, for what you want right now.

(14) Become an expert (in anything) through deliberate practice.
Here the the outlined steps.
-Have a rage to master!
(Here's their HBR Article)

(15) 4 Books that are a must: The Alchemist, The Little Book of Talent, The Art of War, The Art of Living

(16) Never stop trying to get better.

(17) Find authentic happiness now (whatever your current situation is.)

(18) Do it or die trying. Basically, cultivate grit.

(19) Find a way to make your life work. Never give up. Never give in.

(20) Have an Undefeated Mind. (A very important book to read. Also a must.)

Here are some essential websites:
Lifehack
Asian Efficiency
UPenn Positive Psychology-Building Resilience
Expert Enough
Raptitude
One Thing Today-PK's blog on gratitude and learning, we should all do this everyday!
The Positivity Blog 
Marc and Angel Hack Life 
Life hacker
3 Quarks Daily
The Energy Project
The Bulletproof musician
Tiger Mom Says (This is a good one to whip you into shape)
Tiger Dad
Zen Habits
Mind Hacks
The School of Life

Here's just a great overview of Stoicism. It is really not what most people think it is (stoic=no emotion). It's more about ignoring negative thoughts and focusing on the good to get better and taking ownership of what you can control. Here is a comprehensive site on the ideology including basic principles.  I've posted this post before too but here it is again. Anyone interested in learning more about how Stoicism can be applied to daily life I highly recommend Irvine's book.

More details are provided in the series/label "The Comeback" and here are some of the key posts:
Conquering pain and being limitless
No Excuses Play like a Champion
2012 Lessons/Summary
It is in the power of the mind to be unconquerable
Articles on performing at your personal best, Excellence, and expertise (Also there is an article on the stigma of working hard to achieve means you can't hack it on natural talent--a point I find atrocious and utter nonsense. Per #13 above, Nothing worth having comes easy.)
Think Different
This is your life, do what you love and do it often.
Victorious Warriors Win First and then go to War
Your Desire to change must be greater than your desire to stay the same
Every morning we are born again. A summary of 2013 and being reborn.
Building Confidence

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you
really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived
through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the
thing you think you cannot do."  -Eleanore Roosevelet

This week's lessons learned

Haven't done this series in a while but lots of reflecting this week:

(1)Dismissing people is one of the best ways to make someone feel worthless and anyone who has the capacity to do that is inherently not a good, kind person.
(2)  There are two types of people in the world: Revolutionary Thinkers and the pessimists that find fault and discourage their ideas.
(3) Know exactly what you want.
(4) It is extremely hard to read people. Especially those who have every intention of screwing you over!
(5) Take control of your health and be proactive about doing what is right for you.
(6) Be smart about altering something in your daily routine and anticipate setbacks and whether you have the time for them (so thankful I started my ulcer antibiotics after my exams last week--I am currently miserable nauseous and have a constant metal taste in my mouth. YUCK!)
(7) When you operate with the end-goal of service you find that you have a place anywhere in this world.
(8) Take strategic breaks and utilize holidays to advance yourself in other aspects of life. (Spring break here I Come.)
(9) Resolve to be better every single day!
(10) Anyone can be anything if they are strategic in their approach to getting better and have kind intentions at heart.
(11) Worrying about other people's business is the last thing on my mind and I think expending energy getting up in someone else's stuff is a total waste of time. I'm so so lucky that my closest friends feel the same way and never forget that great minds talk about ideas!

Some Lessons again!

Icona Pop-We Can do this all night

(1) Be Unmessable. (a lesson from yoga!)

(2) The only place where growth lies is in discomfort. Just when you think you cannot take anymore, clench your teeth and press on a little harder.

(3) On that note, some people will assume they automatically have the right to personal information about your life, career, etc...It's your job to set your own boundaries.

(4) "If you’re not going to take my science seriously because of how I look, that’s your problem."

I've already posted this twice, but I wanted to post it again to give further emphasis to acknowledge that gender bias is oftentimes extremely subtle; it can range from simple patronization and belittling language, to the purposeful exclusion of women from professional enhancement opportunities or even meetings, to the simple overpowering in a conversation setting or subconscious body language interplay. In no way am I saying these instances are intentional. It's just the dynamic that develops between any two individuals or groups of individuals where one is subordinate and the other assumes a superior role. (this is actually extremely common in communal primate settings)  

(5) Beware, some people are scamming and impersonating the IRS!

A review of 2013 lessons

Similar to last year, I am re-posting some of the most salient lessons from the year:

(1) It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable.
-Seneca Letters
(2)  Making it through life requires the creativity to constantly reinvent yourself. (at least making it through my life.)
(3) Mastery over self starts in small ways.
(4) Even the Best still practice
(5) This struggle is invaluable
(6) If you are not making someone else's life better then you are wasting your time.
-Will Smith
(7) Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity (the fresh prince again)
(8) Do it or die trying.
(9) Isolate the problem. Attack it strategically. Annihilate it.
(10) NEVER BE DEFEATED
(11) "There's always someone watching."
(12) Ask questions. Find out who other people really are and how/what they think by asking questions.
(13) Document relentlessly. It's the most efficient way to track, catch, and correct your mistakes (in anything.)
(14) The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates which is why we all ought to do more of #12
(15) standing in an attack position seems to be effective at asserting power. Here's to POWER POSING! 
(16) The only person you can rely on 100% is yourself.
(17) Victorious warriors win first and then go to war. -The Art of War
(18) “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
(19) Do not wait for the future to take action.
(20)  Success comes only when the training, of
whatever kind (memory, muscles, mind, willpower,
stamina), takes a man to the limit of his capacity. When
the end of the training becomes torture. When a man cries
out from pain and exhaustion...Training is effective only
when it takes a man to the very limit of his capacity and
he knows exactly where the limit is...
That's the road to glory. That's the path to
success. To work only at the very limit of your capacity.
To work at the brink of collapse. You can become a
champion only if you are the sort of person who, knowing
that the bar is about to fall and crush him, nevertheless
heaves it upwards. The only ones who have conquered
themselves, who have defeated their own fear, their own
laziness and their own lack of confidence
-Abstract of the 1985 book Aquarium by Victor Suvorov about Soviet military intelligence
(21) Never give up. Never give in.

*without even realizing it Swimming has achieved one thing on her bucket list by learning to cook meat this year. Score one for Swimming at Sea! Onwards and upwards to 2014 we go!

"If you never quit, you will achieve your goal. It’s just a matter of time."

I was randomly reading some previous posts today and came across this gem from back in 2012 (Failure is never permanent) After a mopey Friday of "how did my life pass me by?" this post is just what I needed. Here it is re-posted below. Enjoy!

Hey, I just wanted you to know that there are always going to be obstacles in life. Obstacles to getting your dream body. That six pack. Losing weight. Getting a job. Falling in love. The list is endless. You CAN’T avoid these obstacles... BUT you can choose how you react to them. When life knocks you down, do you stay down or do you rise to fight again?

Success in fitness, and life, is dependent on persistence, tenacity and determination. There is a great saying in martial arts - “a black belt is a white belt who never quit”. If you never quit, you will achieve your goal. It’s just a matter of time.

You went and gorged yourself on cake. This could easily lead into a week of binge eating or more...

You were supposed to do a workout today. Did you miss it because of other commitments? Do you miss the rest of your workouts for the week out of a sense of failure? Do you stay down?

Hell no! Get back up, do it now! A year from now you’ll wish you started today.

Failure is never permanent... when you get back up. Pretty soon you will string together a few days of success, then a few more. Soon you’ve lost a few inches. Your muscles are beginning to show. You fall down, you get up. You lose a little more weight. You fall, you get up. You will soon reach your goal.

As you exercise, work and play this week, remember - “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

-Mike e-trainer

What is Swimming Thankful for...

Somewhat in honor of upcoming thanksgiving, but not really since I frequently wax gratitude nearly every day, but I thought it nice to post some things that Swimming is grateful for anyway:

(1) My family--there aren't many of us here--but to those who are in my life I am always grateful to have people look out for me, be worried about me, and express appreciation for when I call. (Special shout outs to Swimming's Dad and uncle.)

(2) My lovely living situation--(also another shout out to Swimming's dad for making this possible) but I absolutely love having a simple clean space to inhabit. What a difference this makes for my mental well-being, not to mention my allergies!

(3) Clean drinking water-- 780 million people do not have have access to clean drinking water in this world. Amen to aqua.

(4) Access to good and nutritious food. I think about the obesity and diabetes epidemics and most of the obesity epidemic in America started in some of the poorest States (before affecting the rest of the country.) A primary reason behind this was that those affected in those states most-likely did not have easy access to healthy nutritious food that was readily available and economical. I consider myself blessed to have always had access to choose wisely.

(5) Awareness of my own ignorance. Sometimes people say ignorance is bliss. As I delve further into a career in healthcare, I am constantly aware of how much I don't know which motivates me to work harder and learn something everyday.

(6) Currently, Swimming is very grateful for her graduate program and the support it has offered. I love love love it here and feel lucky everyday to have a program that believes in me.

(7) My health! This is a compilation of the other things written above that have made this possible, but as always I'm immensely grateful to be healthy thus far. After spending over a week in the hospital due to food-poisoning back in 2012 and then 3-4 subsequent weeks in bed-rest I had a little taste of how awful it can be when you don't have your health. Thus I am grateful for the ability to breathe and walk and function normally.

(8) My wonderful friends. I'm privileged and lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and all over the country nonetheless (MB--<3 detroit and my great motivator buddy, JR--for 13 yrs!, SB--now SP across the pond!, the lovely ladies I left back in Boston--PK, NM, RS, and my new and amusing grad school friends.) All of you add value to my life and I hope I do the same even to a minor degree.

(9) My great mentors. Now from a few different fields (engineering and research and medicine), but I'm lucky to have you amazing people to look to for guidance and support.

(10) Access to higher education. I am always grateful to have access to higher education and being able to freely commit to lifelong learning. I considering those around the world who don't have that luxury and we're lucky to have it so open in America. Which brings me to my next point...

(11) I am very grateful for the opportunity to live in America. Sure there's economic and healthcare woes here, and sure there are insipid disputes amongst Congress that shutdown the government but none of this is ever to the degree seen in other countries. We forget sometimes how great this country is--freedom and all. Progress is always something to aspire towards, but hats off to the USA for making things possible where otherwise they just aren't. Just as a reminder, here's the SNL parody I posted last year on first world problems. 

(12) On that note, I'm also thankful for our troops. They are the ones on the frontline who tirelessly fight for freedom for the rest of us and for that I'm forever grateful. 

(13) Lastly, but certainly not least, I'm thankful for all my readers. I hope you all enjoy my writings and find some stuff informative. Thanks for keeping me relevant.

There's obviously much more I'm thankful for but not to bore the rest of ya'll; I just hope this post encourages everyone to think about who and what ya'll are grateful for. I try to think about these things every day since I find I feel better when considering what else (things and people) have made my lovely existence possible. 

Musings/Lessons learned

Ok, so glad the panda cam is back on air.  My goodness. I can't believe I spent 2 weeks without seeing these little guys. A major life goal of mine is to get a hug from a panda. If you don't think I'm being serious then you clearly have never met me or knew me from age 5-11.

I'll post my last part of medical musings later, this week proved to be eventful for me so I'm going to post some random musings instead.

(1) Wowza...apparently calling 911 doesn't necessarily mean they can get to you on time. They have to be able to access your building and if your landlord hasn't given them access check to make sure they do!!!!!

(2) I have learned a great deal about life by watching Master Chef Junior. I normally don't take well to children. They're usually hyperactive and annoying and I just don't like small things that move. Plus they always try to follow me around since I'm short I can only assume that they think I'm a big kid. I, however, love this show because it's small children acting like adults. Not only is their skill level impeccable, their ability to strategize and be competitive seems right out of The Art of War.

(3) Can we please please please end Group Think???? I do think collaboration has its place in academia and in the workplace and when people come together great things can really happen. What I contest is the endless notion that it's imperative to integrate groupwork into each and every part of the process. People (myself especially) need time to duck down and work on ourselves by ourselves in order to produce things. The only thing I've found is that being in a group early in the process hampers my own ability to excel because I get lost within the group. I'm much better off preparing beforehand, producing, and then coming together to put all the pieces together and trade ideas.

(4) I'll only comment on this briefly, but why is it so hard for people in my generation to take responsibility for their actions? We live in a digital world no doubt, but the more digital we become the more easy it is to file away and dispose of things that are real--friendships and family.

(5) I'm a little ticked today so so bear with me. I'm becoming increasingly irritated with the hypocrisy that infiltrates my generation. We complain about having no money and yet see no issue spending things on frivolities. We claim to be conscientious with  health and yet have no issue with imbibing toxins as if it were water and still claiming that we live a healthy lifestyle. It's one thing when that hypocrisy only affects your own life, but when you bring others into it and affect their lives it's quite another (ie allegedly healthy person running around drinking and driving every weekend.) Are you still an organic person? Hell no and it shows. You can diet and yoga for 1,000 hours afterwards, but you're still not really respecting yourself and your integrity so you can't really elicit respect to others. There's merit to the rural lifestyle I observed in my last trip to India. These people are happy even though they've don't have some things the Western world considers basic necessities. What is most striking is that these people are generous. Without thinking twice, they were over eager to properly feed a guest and offer them gifts. It's ironic when you think about it that sometimes the people with the least often have more to offer.

Lastly, while I'm sad about the Tigers....I must say GO RED SOX!

The Art of War (lessons)

The Art of War is actually one of my favorites. I refer to it frequently to heed advice on becoming more tough and also to reinforce my conviction that the way I've chosen to go about things is really the best way for me and aligns with my philosophical belief system. Things are rarely what they appear to be; I've waited to do things which has brought many others to question my commitment, interest, and conviction to succeed and pursue what I've set out to pursue. Moving and starting graduate school I am definitely closer to what I eventually want to do, but what most don't know is that grad school was in my plans for a while now (years in fact) and it's nice to be in a program that values my approach to medicine and is trying to help me get there in the best way possible. Here's to a kind fall!

Moving Musings/Lessons learned

(1) If you want something done, complaining or over-contemplating is the worst way to go about it. There's a fine line between consideration and hasty decision-making. At some point: Just do it and move on.
(2) The only person you can rely on 100% is yourself.
(3) With that said, if you expect nothing from others you'll never be dissapointed.
(4) Fed Ex is the best way to move. I owe my seamless transition to FedEx by not only picking up all my items on time, but also delivering them literally the same time I arrive and got my keys to move in. Thank you FedEx!
(5) Another Special thanks to American Express for being vigilant enough to monitor my expenses and alert me of unusual spending. 
(6) It's time for Swimming to go green. I already recycle, but now I've invested in some nifty Kors Hydration Vessels to reduce my usage of plastic water bottles. There's a nice deal on Gilt that allows people to make the change too! This was probably one of the biggest ways that I was wasteful so here's hoping that I cut that down.
(7) On that note, we all could benefit from drinking more water.
(8) You're never too young for nostalgia.
(9) Never, never NEVER not try to get fully settled as possible when moving. The mess in my new (gorgeous) apartment is unnerving and really frustrating to deal with and this all could have been resolved if I made a greater effort finish furnishing my apartment before I moved in.